Let's see...(of course, as the man said,
first you have to look...then you can see.)
...I can't be serious...not at this point...
after "who looked at whom first, anyhow,
dancing" it's all just a somewhat pleasant
memory...distorted and edited to be sure...
and perhaps the whole thing wasn't just a
complete waste of time...no one's about to
give me the "Presidential Medal of Freedom"
...now that's a waste of time...
...and so it goes...even the mountains begin
to disappear...a magic show...big mistake
being trying to capture it, edit it, market it,
manufacture it somehow which was never
successful...even Santa's elves don't give
a crap anymore...and the monkeys at the
zoo don't throw their poo...they might need
it someday...a magic tamasha meghilla
only predicted by...Everyone!
...I remember hearing the train at night at
the house on Keystone Avenue...rain on the
window and lilac bushes in the spring...
...I remember going to Thomas's apartment...
absinthe and martinis...steak au poivre...the
video we made...the poem we wrote...trashing
his poor table lamp...his wall full of paintings
he did of his friends...watching his art videos...
...I remember my landlord is coming over
today...maybe his whole family again...his
three year old boy likes me...I'll buy them
beer...they didn't seem upset I broke that
sink...
...I remember a dream I had as a child...at a
zoo...in front of a cage...a man in uniform...
a woman and child...the child had three
balloons; red, yellow, and blue...I said to them:
"When I raise my hand, I'm going to wake up
from this dream." ...and I did.
There's no way to get anything back...it still
lives within anyway...the vibes we got from
everyone and experience still resonate like
pool balls on the cosmic table..."all options
are on the table"...even weird Uncle Harry...
even love we think lost.
It's weird...you never really had it...any of it...
you get older and it's like waking up from a
dream you had as a child...I was sitting at the
dock of the bay and now I'm in a museum...
take a look..."he did that"..."that's pretty
incredible"...."so, what happened to him?"
"he died."
It's not a downer...it's a yoyo you know...
that's why we called them "straight people"...
linear thinkers..."Welcome to Blinderville"...
if they're not a Johnson, they are to be
avoided as if they were wild animals...which
often they are...it's natural selection and I
chose not to be friends with some fool to
put it mildly...let them have their baseball
games...hot tubs...you name it...they may
be going up, but the string is still attached...
...a pretty endless subject, like sex...so, why
get started? ...too late for that thought...good
luck with that...even the end is the middle
of another beginning.