Dark Awareness

When you were asleep, certain nights,
and it was new moon…no lights…you
woke up and it was dark…completely…
and if you stayed still enough in bed, it
was as if you almost weren’t there, but,
you were aware that you were aware, a
dark awareness, marveling in the lack
of anything to be aware of…you move
your hand slightly and it echos…”ping!”
…the whole body is still there…then you
sink back again, into the dark stillness…
feeling the body as a kind of raft…on a
vast ocean of depth…what you wake into
when you die.

You Loose Track of the Miracles

Rainbows…before and after Tail of the Tiger
seminars with Trungpa Rinpoche…eating Chinese
food after one seminar, the waiter looked like Rinpoche…
my fortune cookie read: “Very soon, a very interesting one.”…
a few with the 16th Karmapa….a big one with Jigme
Phuntsok….the miracle of finding buddhism in the first place…
the miracle of living in Mexico where I have time to practice
and write…no one looking over my shoulder, including me.

Warning! Will Robinson!

Warning! Will Robinson!
Problem, Will Robinson,
Trouble, Will Robinson,
Not as you thought, Will Robinson,
Got it wrong all along, Will Robinson,
Lost on earth, Will Robinson,
Lost in a dead end life you didn’t choose,
Will Robinson.

Jigme Phuntsok

I lived about twelve years of my life at meditation
centers, fulfilling various rolls. Inevitably, some of
the living masters of Tibetan Buddhism would visit
from time to time. One of these was Jigme Phuntsok,
a vajra master from eastern Tibet. He was
said to be enlightened. I wanted to check him out for
myself, but there was no real avenue to accomplish this.
I thought I would go to his talks and simply keep my eyes
on him…every second….and see what happened.

The first couple of days, he noticed I was staring at him…
maybe twice each day. The third day, he noticed two times…
then, a third. The fourth time, he stared at me for a
moment…then he looked up. I looked up to see what he
was looking at. When my gaze came down, and I looked
at him, he was staring right at me. My mind went blank…
in fact, I wasn’t in the room anymore. The experience
lasted probably no more than a few seconds at most.
When I came back, he was looking at me, and I broke
the gaze. I knew something unusual had occurred, and
I knew the instructions were to not make
a big deal about any experience. I acted as if nothing
had happened.

The next day, there was a group audience with Jigme
Phuntsok at his residence, for the staff. I was sitting
there on the green lawn with my daughter. Jigme
Phuntsok was on a front porch with his entourage.
People would ask him questions, and he would answer,
through translators as usual. While translation was
happening, Jigme Phuntsok turned to one of his Khenpos,
(teachers) and talked into his ear, pointing me out. As
he kept talking, the Khenpo, who was now looking at me,
had a smile that got bigger and bigger. After Jigme
Phuntsok stopped talking to the Khenpo, the Khenpo
was still looking and smiling at me. I shrugged my
shoulders, and he almost giggled.

Was Jigme Phuntsok enlightened?
Well, you never met him.

Viva Mexico!

Two hundred years after Mexico rid
themselves of Spain!…not so’s you’d
know it…at least, the natives won….not
so’s you’d know it…they’re still fighting…
having fiestas…living carpe diem…a demi-
country in limbo…it doesn’t feel like they
believe in shit….though they love carrying
icons through the streets on general principles….
happier certainly than the machine people to the
north…still almost human…aware of death
as ever present certainty…life strangely porous
to them…as if people come and go, as to fiesta.

No Idea

You have no idea,
you think you do.
whatever you know
seems to offer is
just a bad jpke
on you.

I'm sorry...oh no
I'm very very sorry
because the same
joke is on me too.

I experienced it today...
just thought you'd
like to know that there's
no place safe from now.

because the fucking nows
have it.....have you and me...
and, if you don't understand
all I can say is you will.

Life As Art

Life is art. or,
all of life could be
looked at, seen that way…
why not? rather than
seeing it as a list of tasks
seeing it as as steps to retirement
seeing it as a diamond career
seeing it as a cozy nest
seeing it as a means to a never
ending end? No. It doesn’t have
to be that way because there is a
mandala in every ice cream cone.

The Architect

I had just finished an interview with Rinpoche,
and started to get up to leave…he said: “You can
stay……if you want.” I sat back down, and in was
led one of the architects who were involved with the
planning of Karme Choling’s first expansion…before
Harold Rolls. This gentleman sat down in front of
Rinpoche, and began to explain his ideas about the
project very reasonably. Rinpoche was silent. As the
man talked on, what he was saying became less
rational, until it seemed truly bizarre. Rinpoche
didn’t say a word. I didn’t know if he had a silent
buzzer to alert his attendants….but at some point,
two people entered the room and, without a word,
lifted this gentleman up, still talking, and led him
out of the room.

Point To It

It doesn’t have to happen if
there is no point to it.

Point to it…where and
what is it?

I want to see what’s the
point to all the conversation.
all the debate.

Point to it!

Let it be the full moon
of your understanding.

Point to it with your
whole mind….
what’s in front of you.