Projectile Vomiting: A Memoir

Let's see...(of course, as the man said,

first you have to look...then you can see.)

...I can't be serious...not at this point...

after "who looked at whom first, anyhow, 

dancing" it's all just a somewhat pleasant

memory...distorted and edited to be sure...

and perhaps the whole thing wasn't just a

complete waste of time...no one's about to

give me the "Presidential Medal of Freedom"

...now that's a waste of time...

...and so it goes...even the mountains begin 

to disappear...a magic show...big mistake

being trying to capture it, edit it, market it,

manufacture it somehow which was never

successful...even Santa's elves don't give

a crap anymore...and the monkeys at the

zoo  don't throw their poo...they might need

it someday...a magic tamasha meghilla 

only predicted by...Everyone! 

...I remember hearing the train at night at

the house on Keystone Avenue...rain on the

window and lilac bushes in the spring...

...I remember going to Thomas's apartment...

absinthe and martinis...steak au poivre...the

video we made...the poem we wrote...trashing

his poor table lamp...his wall full of paintings

he did of his friends...watching his art videos...

...I remember my landlord is coming over 

today...maybe his whole family again...his

three year old boy likes me...I'll buy them 

beer...they didn't seem upset I broke that

sink...

...I remember a dream I had as a child...at a

zoo...in front of a cage...a man in uniform...

a woman and child...the child had three

balloons; red, yellow, and blue...I said to them:

"When I raise my hand, I'm going to wake up

from this dream." ...and I did.

There's no way to get anything back...it still

lives within anyway...the vibes we got from

everyone and experience still resonate like

pool balls on the cosmic table..."all options

are on the table"...even weird Uncle Harry...

even love we think lost.

It's weird...you never really had it...any of it...

you get older and it's like waking up from a

dream you had as a child...I was sitting at the

dock of the bay and now I'm in a museum...

take a look..."he did that"..."that's pretty 

incredible"...."so, what happened to him?"

"he died."

It's not a downer...it's a yoyo you know...

that's why we called them "straight people"...

linear thinkers..."Welcome to Blinderville"...

if they're not a Johnson, they are to be 

avoided as if they were wild animals...which

often they are...it's natural selection and I

chose not to be friends with some fool to

put it mildly...let them have their baseball 

games...hot tubs...you name it...they may 

be going up, but the string is still attached...

...a pretty endless subject, like sex...so, why

get started?  ...too late for that thought...good

luck with that...even the end is the middle

of another beginning.