“I have lived.
Let us see if that is all.” eecummings
Birthday party with drugs and ice cream…
different than when I was a kid,
except for the ice cream.
Not celebrating that I’m still alive, rather,
that I have lived, more than waiting for
something to happen
following the beaten path
not undone by circumstance
I took a chance
desperate for the truth.
Seventy one, I thought I’d be dead by now.
A lot of us hippies had that thought…a lot
died in that roiling of culture, jumping out
of windows on LSD, pioneers of spirit, naive,
fearless…stupid maybe, but knowing
something had to be done to wake humanity
from materialistic slumber; live free or die was
the choice we saw and acted.
“Like a fighter the soul must be constantly in
training lest it grow soft on an ephemeral
throne” William Burroughs
Trungpa and Beethoven died when they were
forty seven…Rimbaud stopped writing when
he was twenty. It doesn’t matter how long you
live. “Even Jesus wanted a little more time.”
The quick and the dead…”You don’t have to
be quick to live here, but, it’s over.”
What can I say about life? It’s got a beat, you
can dance to it…there’s no alternative…be
there or be square…ice cream….a red
wheelbarrow…never arranged but always
complete…a moveable feast…the party’s just
getting started.
We love to communicate, don’t we? Look at
all the languages…look at Billy Budd. My
presence is my present to me and the world…
why not? If no one reads me, did that tree
really fall? That’s why nothing ever happens
until everything happens at once. Got me?
There’s an old Buddhist joke: the Italian
Godfather makes you an offer you can’t
refuse…the Polish Godfather makes you
an offer you can’t understand…the Tibetan
Godfather makes you an offer you can’t
refuse or understand. This joke came about
because Chogyam Trungpa was that very
Tibetan Godfather…hence, the joke. The
reason this is so, is because Trungpa’s
teachings went against our egos, rubbed
them the wrong way. It was painfully true,
so it was hard to listen to and harder to
hear. It was an acquired taste. Are we clear
on this?
Which was why Trungpa was hard to take
for a lot of people. He told the truth whether
anyone liked it or not….constantly, without
a vacation. You weren’t kidding yourself
around him, and you knew it…it was
excruciatingly delicious, steak tartar. Dare I
say it? Spiritual vivisection….but…good!
Psychic surgery without anesthetic…
ruthless compassion. He was able to do this
because of his training that had completely
destroyed any trace of self aggrandizement
in him. His presence was uncontrived and
completely spontaneous…very intimidating
to robots.
Our beings don’t end with our skin. Our
beings pervade space to a greater or lesser
degree. This is easily demonstrated by our
experience of some people walking into a
room and lighting it up with charisma.
Imagine if our minds were trained to be
open!
Shifting gears…writing unfolds (unpacks?)
like claymation…I love that I love to write…
I’m constantly surprised what comes out of
the old cabeza…I make myself laugh…I
want to make others laugh as well…even
philosophy makes you laugh when you
“get it”. Shakespeare’s Fool is the model for
all sage comedians. The gurus were known
to be hilarious….but they didn’t tell jokes.
I never thought my life would be this great…
that could be the drugs talking, but, still…
this is my birthday suite…enjoying my
temporary pleasure…don’t mind if I do…
blah blah blah…there’s room for that too…
boredom…has anyone ever written a boring
novel that was a best seller? There’s no
Olympic sport that gives a gold medal for
standing quietly… American Indians or Zen
masters might be impressed…it’s all
happening at the zoo….there’s no
accounting for taste….mind if I cliche?
Burning Man or Gulag…those are the two
choices I see…Eden was always the goal…
get back Jojo…back to the garden…archaic
revival…that or the Morlocks take us
downstairs…live free or die…the character
of the conflict has never changed, although
many have transcended it altogether…the
tools are still available waiting to be used.
No need to end this rant because no
beginning…just a fun tip toe through the
Manichean wabi-sabi.
