The Feast

I got up and stumbled around in the morning….

…saw friends at the coffee shop and felt relaxed…

…came back with stuff and put some things away…

…hung over and heavy…practiced and drank water…

…offered everything to everyone everywhere….

….then poured a drink and lit a cigarette…opened

a bag of chips….it doesn’t get any better than this.

Papillon

In the movie “Papillon", the key line is spoken

by the prison Commandant: “If you accept what we give you,

your suffering will be less than you deserve.” Of course, the

highly paid actors try to escape…and after some acting and lots

of makeup, Hollywood produces another happy ending.

It has to be a happy ending…don’t want the popcorn to lay

undigested in a sour stomach. Yes, it’s easy to be critical about

large movements…political entities… religious organizations…

easy and righteous.

Escaping is another matter.

A New Place

The good thing about my new place is, I could put my head through the wall and it wouldn’t

be a big deal…just throw a piece of batik over the hole and go on living…and even if I did do it,

there wouldn’t be anyone watching….might come by in a day or two…”Oh, that batik

pattern is one of the copyrighted ones from Indonesia….isn’t it?”…maybe my kind of place.

Death feels closer here…more visible…back at the House of Pain, (my former palace),

death was covered by the ongoing Tella Novella of my co-denizens….

I may be going blind…hell, something’s going to happen sooner or later….cancer,

heart attack, dengue fever, fall down some steps….I’m sixty and counting….

they’re dropping like flies around me.

A new place at this point in time must fulfill certain requirements. It must be compact

and sturdy….dark and cool…..not so much about lifestyle as how the body needs to be held.

And it must be in nature.

I’m laterally mobile….lived in mansions and hovels…good training….

There’s something I don’t understand about Mexico…where ever I live here, there’s

always someone next door banging on a piece of metal around five o’clock in the

afternoon….

A new place at this point in time is not really a new place…it’s just the next place…

Newness is not a concept that has much to do with perception anymore….even babies

seem like they’ve been around a long time…and women? I meet them and two minutes

later I’m breaking up with them in my mind. Is that why old people talk about the same

things all the time, the same stories? The alternative is peaceful simplicity and a killer smile.

Some people actually understand that.

Perfect Sadness

I see the world falling apart around me,

as if on a burning ship at sea.

I live in a world of increasingly crazed people,

taking insanity as the status quo.

I know better, and it breaks my heart.

What can I say that would make any difference?

I don’t know…slaved by the status quo.

But I know, if I die in the gutter, at least,

I die free.