Transformation

Are you the same person

as when you were three

as when you were eighteen 

as when you were thirty

as you are now at seventy seven?

I’d have to say no, although, there

certainly is some continuity.

I meditated, a lot, for years

so that changed my mind organically.

I was kinda nice, kinda an asshole,

drunk a lot, which I’m not anymore,

intense always when I was a plumber,

kinda interesting, kinda not…

now…

the furnace of habitual mind is ashes,

aside from the occasional ember…

trying to love even those I have 

every reason to hate.

You try.

It’s certain that hating only harms oneself,

so, there’s that.

To not be hating feels better too…just saying.

Ahem.

One could always 

one does always start over

even if it’s just another day 

another paragraph 

another breath…

period.

Now what?

You guessed it.

Yes, I’m simple minded,

which is hard to accomplish 

yet, to your surprise, easy to do.

Buddha said

meditate for ten years.

If you can’t meditate for ten years

meditate for one year.

If you can’t meditate for one year

meditate for one month.

If you can’t meditate for one month

meditate for one week.

If you can’t meditate for one week

meditate for one day.

If you can’t meditate for one day

meditate for one hour.

If you can’t meditate for one hour

meditate for one minute.

If you can’t meditate for one minute 

meditate for one second.

Why do you think he said that?

“In a minute there is time for decisions

and revisions that a minute will reverse.”

T. S. Eliot

Just sayin’.

Human beings can change

in ways no other animal can.

It takes discipline; willful 

intent and purpose in a certain

direction over a long period of time.

(Or, like Bruce Jenner, you just

cut off your dick and call it a day.

Sorry.)

So, yes, the lightbulb really has to

want to change.

I was never comfortable…I grew up

in an environment of crazy/alcoholic

discomfort, although, both my parents 

were smart and somewhat interesting.

I must have decided to not go crazy.

Yada, yada, yada, fifty years later and

Bob’s been my uncle for a while now

precarious as old age may be a sharp

edge of time and future infinity.