Possible Lurid Headlines

BUSH “CLONE” TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

CHENEY EXPOSED IN TRYST WITH CORPSE OF J. EDGAR HOOVER
Led Away Muttering: “Now I’ve got all the bases covered.”

PRESIDENT BUSH EXPOSED AS SOCK PUPPET

RUMSFELD NEXT PRESIDENT OF LYBIA
Moammar: “He’s like a son to me.”

BUSH DECLARES WAR ON AMERICA
Quote: “Kill them all and let Allah sort them out.”

PARIS HILTON “TELL ALL” BOOK
Book To Have Three Pages

TERRORIST ATTACK AT MCDONALDS
Child: “I was denied a happy meal.”

JOHN TISCHER TRAMPLED TO DEATH BY HERD OF SLOWLY MOVING CATTLE
Neighbors Yawn