If Only Twain Could See Me Now

I have a new plan, distilled from all the other plans I've had

in my life to the point of diamond simplicity: stay drunk until 

something  happens. Drunks do this all the time, the only 

difference here is I've made it into a plan of action!  I mean,

what's the difference between a guy that's having a bad day 

and blows their head off on a whim, and one who contemplates 

the deed for two years before doing it?  Nothing.....except the 

guy that waited 2 years suffered a lot more for no good reason. 

Besides....I'm not trying to hurt myself...I'm not the one that 

made alcohol bad for my body....and if it has the effect of making 

me high, then what kind of creator would make such a thing so 

good and bad at the same time? Heck, he made me so I couldn't 

give myself a blow job....and that seems intentional....because 

if men could, there would be no other people.   So,  i can only 

conclude that I have free will....which was a big mistake on 

somebody's part...and the fact that everyone has it is completely 

ridiculous.... everything is turning into reality television....even 

reality itself! So, free will should be licensed like drinking and 

driving...and there should be a training course about how to go 

about handling it....I mean, you have to take drivers' training, 

don't you?  You don't just hand the keys to the car over and say  

"GO!" That's why the Tibetans taught children from the age of five 

to grow up to be the Tiger Woodses and the Michael Jordans 

of the mind. Free will + untrained mind = chaotic being....

Donald Trump....Lady Gaga....The Bush family; (their minds were 

brainwashed, not trained)....Islam....Tea Party Candidates....

"lone killers"....the Republican Party.