God Walks Into A Bar...

Tall….long white beard…in a white, straight muumuu,
looking pissed-off-Holy-Father…”Where the fuck is Jesus!?”
Well, this has blown all the patron’s minds so bad that they’ll
never be the same….in a good way…meanwhile, Joe, Christ’s
brother, the plumber….a few pints in…says: “Hey, Dad, what’s
shak’in? Jesus? Yeah, he was in here for a while…he had a couple
of beers…performed a miracle for a drink…you know how he is…
but he left so’s he could get ready for crucifixion…hey…sit down..
knock off the steam coming out of your ears…have a beer…that’s
better…relax, Dad…you’re all knowing and all seeing….no need to
get into a tizzy just because your only begotten Son is about ta be
nailed to a cross to save humanity just because a couple of ancient
ancestors got it wrong…hey…I’ll be glad when that trailer you
promised me comes through…I thought…even though I’m not as
good as Christ, you’d show a little more for your “second” begotten
son….even though we both know it wasn’t a “Virgin” birth….C’mon,
Dad…you’re All Knowing….have a sense of humor.”

God got up….walked out of he bar….suddenly…just because God
thought of it,,,for what some beings experienced as eternity, some for
a few seconds….nothing existed….then….came back…

God, a little drunk….still a bit pissed off…thought to Itself: “Fuck
them Pilgrims….making up stories about Me….I’ll show them
Nothing where the sun don’t shine….”

God, a little pleased with Itself, strode back into the bar and immediately
made the patrons relax and forget the past episode….walked over to Joe
and said: “You got the trailer…how’s about I give you Hawaii to go
around it?” Joe replied: “Dad, I know you’re drunk….just the trailer
and a spot of land….welfare…and a good bar close by…”

It was done. Thus Marlon Brando was born.